Van Eats Oatmeal
by hydrogenmonoxide2
Summary: Van wakes up and is sees Fiona. What happens when he is eat his oatmeal? DIE!
1. van eats oatmeal 4

wuzzup homiessssssssssssssss. hydrogenmonoxide here, postred my fiction is Van eats the oatmeal. because. they am took it down. i am revisited it. DIEEEEEE!!!  
  
Van woke up from bed and stretched. He went to eat breakfast. It was oatmeal. He didn't like it. He saw Fiona watching a blade liger. He walked up to Fiona and said "what are you looking at fiona?"  
Fiona looked up at Van and raised her eyebrow. "It's a blade liger, Van". Van looked confused and said "It's a Zoid. I don't know what Zoids are but I love them." Fiona looked at him as if he were crazy and said "how was your oatmeal, Van?" Van gasped and said "HOW DO YOU KNOW I HAD OATMEAL LAST SUMMER?" Fiona looked disgusted and said, "I made it Van."  
"YOU DID? YOUR SO KIND!" Van looked really happy. "not if I put poison in it," Fiona shouted. Van dies never ate oatmeal again. 


	2. van eats oatmeeal 7

Hello hello all!!! I know my last chapter wasn't too great, and I'm sorry for that, but remember, this is in the humor section! It is supposed to be greatly humourous. In other words, funny. Well, die!!  
  
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Fiona was walking next to the blade liger until she saw something. She ran over to it. It was something. She didn't know what it was. It was ugly. It was not pretty. It was covered........ with dirt... She dug it up. She saw something in it.  
Fiona pulled out the thing in it and she said, "gasp", she said. There was Van. He was not Van. He was too ugly. But she said I thought I killed you. And he said no I didn't die you are not right now u must pay.  
Van was mad. Fiona did not know why he was mad. He spit out his oatmeal. From now on you cook not oatmeal he said to her. Fiona nodded.  
The next morning she woke up. Van was reading the book he got from digging for gold. He yawned. "Fiona", he shouted. Fiona came and put in his plate oatmeal.  
Van got mad. Van made Fiona go to bed. Van cooked his own breakfast. "Go to bed ," he said to Fiona. Fiona left. Van made oatmeal. He ate it.  
Fiona came downstairs. Van said, "that is how you make oatmeal Fiona", he said. Fiona looked mad happily. She smiled evily. Not if I put poison in the ingredients!!!", she shouted.  
Van gulped and died. He never ate oatmeal ever ever again. 


	3. van eats oatmeal 2

hi people who am doomed death by my hands thank you all for you great reviews! i am update everyday i try to , for those other people who spend they're precious time critizing my work of art, thank yous. ..... DIE  
  
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Van woke up again. He found himself dead. What is a word he thought absentmindedly. It was almost as if he ated poison again. "Oh well", he shouted to Zeke in his mind. Zeke didn't hear and stirred in his soup.  
Fiona ate it. She ate it. She liked eating it. She did eat it. What she ate she didn't know. I think it was oatmeal," she thought while going to the zoo. Van too bumped into her and said "EXCUSE ME U EAT EGG OK?", while she just walked. She walked, walked, and walked into a tree.  
Van helped her up. "Do I know you", he shouted at her for hurting herself. She never used to do this before, so Fiona drove Van home. "Look you can drive", questioned Van. He was like a wooden puppet. So Van......  
Fiona didn't realize as she pulled into the garage that she had a garage. Look the door is open Fiona replied to Van as if he had eaten more oatmeal. Fiona went inside. I take you to dinner Van. Van nodded. He went to sleep as Fiona dragged him into the car.  
The car walked fastly. It was almost as if it was a ladybug. Fiona was here. Van was here. Fiona took this as the perfect time. She poisoned the oatmeal. But buried it where Van had swam in the dust. It was a something it. Was.  
When Van woke up he ran out of the car. Fiona ran too. She grab Van. Van drag by Fiona into car. Fiona drag Van out. "Look Van I made your favorite food", she said to him. "I'm a him", Van asked. Fiona shrugged and nodded.  
"Here have oatmeal to make you less stupid", Fiona said sweetly. She was not sweet. She didn't say it sweetly. She couldn't, after all that mosquitos had done to her arm. Van said, "I can't help it it I can't help", Van shouted mainicallyishlly.  
Fiona fed his oatmeal and burped him. Van fell asleep. When he woke up he died. Fiona stood on Van and was the king of the world. Van died. He never ate oatmeal again....... 


	4. van eats oatmeal 1

hello fellow peepers, hydrogenmonoxide back wit a looooong chapter. it is actually gohnnah havv a ploht........ dieeeeee disclaim: don have zoids die  
  
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Her was Fiona. "Where is Van. I thought Van die", she questioned him. Van replied, " Oh nothing general just great food huh", she shouted to him her she said. What her he me what he not know her said she.  
Fiona took Van to the mall. She bought Van. A candy bar. Lost it. Yes he did. Van lost it. "You must eat oatmeal", Fiona said. Van say yes. Fiona kicked a stone. It hit him. She shouted "Oops", she whispered. A cardinal landed on Van head. It left. "Ow", Van said. Fiona, "We must find that", said. "Find what?", Van croaked.  
"It was cardinal", Fiona looked pretty. "Oh ok", Van killed the rock and went with Fiona. They went to. They went to. They went to. They went to. the creek. "Look i found my candy bar", Van shouted to Shadow. Raven was dead. Van gasped, "she gasped", he gasped.  
So they followed the cardinal footprint. It was flying. They brought a midnight snack, too. "Fear of wrath of jungles in a creek", the saign there was there said. So they hike over creek. In creek. Van drown. He gargled and went to sleep. "Here have a pillow", Fiona shout evily softly.  
"argh", Van drag out of pond. So they swin up mountain. "Never talk back to ur elders, son", Van shouted. He was old. 60. 1931. Look i see, Fiona write in journal. "hold on", Fiona shouted, "im coming to save u cardinal", Fiona mused. A branch was in her way. Van ran into it. He got unconsciousness.  
Next they walk on cloud. Cardinal land on Van head. It left. "ow", Van replied. " i got it", Fiona said. The cardinal was flying away with footprints.  
"Fiona said", lets go get it. "no", Van got awakekened by a single drop of tears. I'VE MISSED YOU SO DEAR POT! i thought i hear something "van" Van sniffed footprints. The toilet flushed. He heard it. I MUST GO TO BED he shouted. He meditated. "Ok lets not get the cardinal", Fiona thought out loud. ::Victory sign:: Van left. Came back. "Your big hand", Fiona thoutfully........ saidd. Fiona ggot up from bed tonight. Star light star bright the cow jumped over the dog. Ballerina ballerina hear me cry. Don't come back as the rain pours foot. "i read a book", Van announced. passerby slap Van. "No actually i didn't", Fiona shouted.  
The mouse was afraid of the elephant. The dance. Tango. 3 hours straight he watched a wall eating popcorn cry. She smelled a flower. "oh ok", the winter was cold. but it was fall. no spring. The lounged in the cold summer winter temperatures.  
"fiona shivered" "I miss Zeke", Van cried. He was laughing. Fiona looked at her watch. "I got a watch yesterday", she told the cardinal. It was long gone.  
Van put on a cowboy hat to look rough. She looked pathetic. "i want fruit roll up", Fiona whispered while petting her hand. The cassete played yakkety yak. YAKKETY YAK! "blah blah blah", i want my mommy van. Fiona was taken a back. HE jumped in the forest. It was a ocean. "not fair", she laughed and sat on the thread of needle. It was all the quiz. Your welcome. "will u get me a present for saint patricks day" van cried out in depressed anger at Fiona. "No," she replied, "only a $1937657184564027610 dollar ballerina soot."  
Van gasped, "he said", he gasped. "Wanna go to the Wiz", Fiona questioned herself. She didn't hear herself and continued eating her roll of film. But Van heard what she said exactly. "What did you say", he said to Fiona. Egg, was her him.  
They went home. "Do you wanta go home", Fiona asked when she realized she had scrubbed the kitchen floors in her driveway. "no but its ok", Van hypothesised. "I wanta eat diner", he called his mom. The tulip sprouted a antenae. They were dumb on. He hung up his prized posesion paper clip in a storage folder. "i made oatmeal", said van. no actually it was fiona. "i made oatmeal", said Fiona.  
She went on her SN. "what is an SN he asked her". The deer kicked van. "ow", he sat up. "was that a angle??", she was amazed at his smartness. ::victory gasp:: She took a piece of tape and put it on her forehead, She put a choker on Van. nOw they were ready for the pinata colala coca cola koala shibidabadah thing party. "van gets an idea", fiona writes on the tape. "I am tape-man, fear me cough", she said to a tree. She ran. Into the tree. After 5 hours, she sat down. "The tree's name is rachel". She smiled a bucktoothed sheep smile.  
At the ready computer chair flower girl funeral wireless net service diner, she made oatmeal. "WHO SAID I HAD OATMEAL LAST SUMMER????", Van greeted the guests. There were no guests. Van walked out the door. He knocked. Fiona opened. the door. "Oh we have a guest Van!!!", Fiona said. "Really?", Van shouted. NO. She ate the oatmeal. In the end, Van died of hydrogen in chlloride in his oatmeal. 


	5. van eats oatmeal 9

wuzza homiesssssss? it is hydro here. i try is my best at English. i is thank you darkleena, nekoraven, nozomi and hotaru, blue echo, and meh for review meh, so i is put you in this fiction chapter! is you feel special? i is hope you feel special now. yah, i'm meh....  
  
i is not own the zoids or the nekoraven and i is not own darkleena and nozomi and hotaru and the blue echo. i is own me.  
  
*hydro peaces and outs*  
  
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Van is go again. So she is see Fiona. "Hi Fiona" he mouth out loud. Fiona is say hi. "Make up ok?", Van said to Fiona. Fiona is say, "Yes Van, make up!". So they is make up with themselves each other. Van is say, "Want party?", and Fiona is say ok. Van is make a invitation. Fiona "who are we going to invite, Van?", Fiona asked Van for a reply.  
  
Van is think and think and think. Then he is say, "Party for every guy and girl on http://www.fanfiction.net." That is a good idea, "Fiona is say." So they is take paper and paper and paper and paper, they is take more paper and more paper and more paper and more paper, and they is take all the paper and paper. They is take a pencil and color. "Invitation. Come to party. http://www.fanfiction.net party."  
  
They is get up. Sit. And go to mailbox. Put invitation in. SO they is wait, wait, wait, wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wala. The day is come. They is have party day! Fiona is dress up pretty pink dress. Van is dress up shirt and pant. They is greet the guests.  
  
"Tomato", Van said to them. So they all came in. No, everyone not on http://www.fanfiction.net come. The peoples are come in to the party. The peoples are DarkLeena, NekoRaven, Nozomi and Hotaru, Blue Echo, Hydrogenmonoxide2. So they is come in and have party.  
  
"Hi", Fiona is say to DarkLeena. DarkLeena is walk around, run around, sprint mile around. "Does you want sugar", Van replied. DarkLeena take sugar, gulp, gulp. Fiona is drink coffee and tea. So she is put a lot of salt. In her coffee. Or maybe it was tea. So the NekoRaven said hi. "Nozomi and Hotaru said" hi!!!. So they are all sit down.  
  
What is we going to party about?, "Van answered. Fiona didn't know. "What do people do usual at party?, Blue Echo say. "Oh we know!!!", Nozomi and Hotaru are say. NekoRaven is ask, "What do you know?", she curious. So they all get up and hold hands and sing. "Ring around the rosy pockets of posy ashes, ashes we all fall down." So then they sit again. "What now", Van ate a pocket mint to smell like soldier.  
  
DarkLeena come up "idea". So she is say her idea. "Let's play tag?". So they all play tag. I'm it, "Van called her mom". So Fiona chased everyone. They all run. Nozomi and Hotaru are say, "Ahh we are not it don't want be it!!". Nekoraven is walk on house and hide on roof top of chimney is Santa Clause. It was spring, yet it was not winter yet. So the Santa man is hide again.  
  
Blue echo is run away and hide from it. It, it was Van. So if Van it, they run from Van. "One, too, three, get off my fathers appel three." Fiona is tag Nozomi and Hotaru. They are say "nooo", we are the octopus! So they chase Fiona and is tag Dark Leena. DarkLeena run and run and run and run into a three. "Ow, she is say". So then they stop playing. "Are you ok", asked the Blue Echo. DarkLeena get up and run again, "Why is nobody still not walking?". "k", was the Nozomi and Hotaru.  
  
NekoRaven get off roof and chimney with Jiminy Cricket. ChibiRaven is come too. But who was ChibiRaven? I is not know. So then they go under jump rope. "I will hold rope", came a girl voice. It was Van. "She twisted ankle, so she is not able to hold rope." She grew her hair and cut it. Shave his beard and crow it. So then Blue Echo and DarkLeena are hold the rope in their feet, no their hands. So NekoRaven is say, "Can I jump?", and Hydro is say ok. So, One a baby, two a baby, three a baby, over Strawberry Shortcake cream on top.  
  
Next Van say let's eat cake. So they got the cake. Fiona drive to school and pick up cake from next door. Van bring drive cake back home. So then they cut. NekoRaven is say "Besides, my birthday, cut first!". So DarkLeena took the knife and said "achoo", she sneezed and took the cake and and.... He cast a sail and sailed in the wind blowing. Blue Echo watch. Nozomi and Hotaru are take knife and cut cake. "Happy birthday happy birthday happy birthdaaaaaay happy birthday". It was not no body birthday.  
  
So then they is sit down. They is sit. Are they sit? Yes, they are sit. So they turn on the TeliVishion or TV. They listen to their music is happy. And then they all sit again and stand up and sit. Stretch. Stretch. Stretch. So then they do jump jump jacks. And breathe 1 2 3 breathe 2 3 breathe 3 3 and they is done. So then... I don't know. So Van is don't know. DarkLeena get up. Sit down. Get up. Run to supermarket.  
  
NekoRaven eat cake. It is icing. Nozomi and Hotaru take cake in finger. Put on nose. Darkleena back. So then they is all put ice on nose from the cake. They watched TeliVishion in no sound. They are still listen to music. And then Blue Echo is take a party blow horn thing that is say "whoooeee". So then they all take a party blow horns thing "that is say" whoooeee.  
  
So Nozomi and Hotaru sit down. They are watch Van on TeliVishion. Van is say, "Look it is Fiona!". And Fiona is say, "Look it is Van!" So then they all laugh. They see conflict. They are at expedition. Or something. So they is go and put out fire. Then they all eat more the cake. Hydrogenmonoxide is say, this fun. SO they all say this fun. It was a dream scheme.  
  
Then they take paper. Glue. Scissor. Scrap. Color crayon. Then they color in color crayon for a week. "Party over", questioned Van. So then NekoRaven with ChibiRaven. "They say bye!" And they is walk outside. Fiona is close door and they is walk outside when Fiona is close door where they walk.  
  
DarkLeena is lick lollipop. lick. lick. lick. "Yum", Nozomi and Hotaru halfhearted drink. So then Blue Echo is say, "What is yum?". Van said oatmeal. DarkLeena is say, "I is go now! I is have write own fiction. I is have fun at you're fiction. I is good night!!". Dark Leena is leave the fiction or is the party of the fictions.  
  
Blue Echo is say, ok! I is go to the home to where place is my home now!. "Blue Echo is Leave." So then Nozomi and Hotaru are say, we got to stay not here now! ok! so then they is leave. Hydro and Van and Fiona are sit. Hydro leave. But he sit first. Then he is leave, but eat meat before. So then, he is leave.  
  
Van is eat oatmeal and die and Fiona is look at the Cd player and is burned out of the book because of the flower of the TeliVishion for the paper bag and never listened to her science teacher never ever happily after. 


	6. van eats oatmeal 6

hydro is in da bak in da house!!!!!! wuzza homiesssssssssssssssssssssssssss. i update frequent. PRAWPS. bak to mah sit. yes i am meh.  
  
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Van is sit along the among the river stream bed. So he sat. And sat. And sat, but could never sat the sit on the satted sit. Van was the is the speciallest guest! "Welcome special guest Van", Van. So he is say hi. Van is sit down to watch the rock but could not sit in her pocket or peanut shells. So she is say bye bye peanut, it has. Been good to see. So then he is a ogre. She whispered loudly, "Im a angle", she shouted quietly to her neighbor. She was a dog.  
  
Van is go downstairs but he is downstairs so he is go up. Then he builded the builder it builds with the build. Lego. My eggo. So she is cough up cough cough. Cough co. Ugh. The alligator is whistle but she is not pet it her. So she cried. Downstairs but is up. She is cry and cry and cry and is sit sir please. So She is sit. She is stand. She is sit. She is stand. She is sit. She is stand. But she could never sit stand sit fall. So she sat and cried she cried she is cry the cried.  
  
Then she is not cry. She more is cry. So she is stand. She is sit. She is stand. She is sit. So She is sit. She is stand. She is sit. She is stand. She is sit. She is stand. But she could never sit stand sit fall. So she sat and cried she cried she is cry the cried. So then she is "oh." Achoo. So she fell into the cassette and never is video CD Rome.  
  
Van is sit. She sit in the attic downstair. She sit and rub toe. s. So then she is say hi to her best friend in europian. Fiona is come. Fiona say "come van but did not come". So Fiona wokened up. A snail crawled in the sewer. Van put a plumber red mushroom on her ear and head and ear and head and is say " I IS A RESCUE RANGERRRR."!!!!. Fiona could not stand the paper clip shinynessing, so she is smack her.  
  
Fiona watched a ladybug crawl in leaves on leaf a. She is maked the baking soda a wand is it made from paper. So okay. She is use phone and grab socks. With feather and put feather on Fiona put feather the on Fiona her. Fiona can be turkey! Fiona, "turkey tUrkey turkey tuUUUUUrkey turkey turkey turkey" say is. AAAAAHhhhh.  
  
Van is wear black sweater. Van is wear black pant. He is say, "looK, i eating peanut butter!" eating gel. Van hold coffee. Van watch Fiona "turkey tUrkey turkey tuUUUUUrkey turkey turkey turkey" say is. He is hold her coffee high high on hand holding. He is watch Fiona 'turkey tUrkey turkey tuUUUUUrkey turkey turkey turkey" say is.  
  
Van is say "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow." Van had hand holding coffee hold coffee is her hand holding coffee is not holding in pocket her pant. Fiona is call her mother "say mother turkey tUrkey turkey tuUUUUUrkey turkey turkey turkey" say is." So she is her 5 friends is the come over 18 inch.  
  
Fiona is say " hi turkey tUrkey turkey tuUUUUUrkey turkey turkey turkey say is" her friends is say hi. 2-juice. Van is say hi tuUuUrkey. They is say "yeeeeees, it is no!". He couldn't help it he is not help it the CD Rome were the orange fist. She was duty patrol car. Van is say the "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow." She is drop her coffee and she is hold high.  
  
Van is drop her coffee and she is hold high. So she is look at it. The coffee she is hold high the coffee is on floor on top. So she is look yeast. She see coffee. Tea-cup. Kettle, kettle.. kettle letter. Van is fall down and see a TV with Barney and sing along drowned. 


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